When we were first pregnant, you might recall that I read a number of books on baby scheduling. While I would not say that we are 100% on board with BabyWise, we did agree that we need to have our baby on a schedule of some kind. If for nothing else, to aid with my work schedule, to help the baby have some kind of internal structure, and hopefully to make the nanny's job easier.
Some of the more gentle scheduling books say that you shouldn't start schedules until the 6th week, which we tended to agree with at the time. I realized about halfway through Little Sir's 6th week that I hadn't started any kind of schedule. He really already had his own kinda thing going from very early on - he had 2 major "awake" times, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Between then he would nap sporadically.
I started out trying to actively get him to nap on even hours because that was kinda what he was doing already - 8 AM, 10 AM, 12 noon, 2 PM, 4 PM, 6 PM. But then when I went to our playgroup I talked to the other mom whose baby is Little Sir's age, and she said her baby goes 3 hours between feedings! I started to worry that maybe this was why Little Sir is so "plump". Because yes, he is quite the chunk. He weighs as much as some of the babies in the playgroup who are 4-6 weeks older than him!
That kind of blew my scheduling idea, I didn't know where to start to fix that. Around that same time, he got this congestion and started not really sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time during the day, no matter what I tried. Then there were the random crying fits that turned out to be because he was so stuffed up. I tried all the napping/soothing techniques I know of to get him to go to sleep after being awake 3, 4, 5 hours at a time...no luck. The child will not sleep! He gets waaaay overly tired and absolutely will not go to sleep.
We don't really believe in crying it out, but I did let him kind of fuss in his crib for quite a while one day because he had been up for 5 hours and still refused to sleep. All he did was make himself very warm and unhappy for around 15 minutes, he did not ever go to sleep. I tried the baby whisperer's method of soothing him and then laying him back down...I did this over and over and the child would not sleep. I finally gave up and let him go back to playing in his swing.
So now we are back to square one on the scheduling, and that is NOWHERE. Last week when we went to the doctor she said that I should let him eat smaller meals more often while he was sick so I did that for a few days. Sometimes he ate every 1.5 hours. Now I think he might be getting better, so what do I do? Do I go back to trying to put him on a schedule, but this time at 3 hour intervals instead?
And if I choose to do this, when?! Because next week is Christmas and I think we all know what is going to happen to his schedule when we travel. Right out the window. The week after Christmas, I will be starting back to work. So I am a little at a loss here. I understand he needs to have some structure but I have no idea how to do this!!
4 comments:
sweet jenny! being a mom is such a steep learning curve! i know every baby is different, but my vote is to DEFINITELY try to get him on a 3 hour eating interval. his body can handle it, and you need a break! it will also help as you ease into work . . . you can start out on a "2 hour" schedule and then over the course of a week just gradually stretch him to 2 hr. 20 min, then 2 hr. 30 min. then 2 hr. 45 min, until you are around 3 hours. he might cry, but it's not because he's so starved . . . he's just wanting the comfort. and that my dear, can be retrained :) hang in there mama, you are doing a great job!
I completely agree with Mica. For the time being, don't worry about trying to get a certain time of day on the clock. Just try for a certain number of hours between feedings. preferably 3. then as you keep doing that you will eventually fall into a schedule. If you notice you are feeding him pretty close to 8am everyday, then start making that your goal since you are already pretty close to it. etc. Call if you want more detailed help. We did Babywise and Andrew never cried longer than 20 minutes. He is the happiest baby I know and sleeps like a pro. Seriously. I get comments from EVERYONE about how happy and easy my baby seems to be. And it is true. He is!
Dear sweet friend, I sympathize with you. This stage is so so hard; if I could skip the first 3 months with the next one, I would!! I, too, agree with my fellow playgroup friends. You have to move to a 3 hour schedule. He's certainly big enough to handle it! You need to start your schedule at around the same time every morning to get it going. Does he do a paci? If he's crying or fussing and it's not time to eat yet, try a paci or carry him in your sling. He will very quickly get used to eating more food with less feedings. Like Brooke, we also did Babywise (most of it anyway) although Dex was a little tougher to train than Andrew. We had a lot of issues in the beginning, especially before we diagnosed his acid reflux issues. Not every kid will be the same, but Dex has slept 11-12 hours every night since around 10 weeks (unless he's sick or teething) and he is a well-rested, joyful baby with a lot of spunk. He's like a little clock with his schedule even though we've changed it along the way as we've dropped feedings, added solid foods, daylight savings, etc. I never gave him enough credit; babies are amazingly flexible! The sooner you can get him on a schedule, the easier your life will be! Of course, call or write if you have any questions!
A schedule is exactly what our feeding therapist recommended. When I went to her, Rayah was eating between 1.5-2 hours and I was a basketcase. She recommended that we start at the same time every day with a fairly rigid 2-hour schedule (also related to Rayah's reflux), and once we had 2 hours established, to move to 2:15, and once that was established, to move to 2:30, and then to 2:45, and then to 3. It took between 1-2 weeks to establish each new schedule, and now we are at 3 hours and I'm beginning to wonder if I should stretch it to 3.5 hours. If Rayah was awake and started to fuss/cry in those few minutes before the feeding, I just gave her the pacifier to appease her for the extra 15 minutes until her next feeding - though I usually tried to time her naps so that she'd wake up at her next meal time.
Rayah is still a pitiful napper (she generally won't sleep longer than 30-45 minutes throughout the day), but she's also been sleeping 9-11 hours at night since she was 3 months. We loosely followed BabyWise, at least for the sleep/feed/awake cycle, and I try everything in my book (read: she often naps ON me) just to make sure she gets in at least one 1.5 hour nap each day, because her eyes pop open once I put her in the crib.
Anyway, I'm just echoing everyone else: I'd at least give him a schedule for sleep/feed/awake, and let him do his own thing while awake. A well-rested baby makes for a happy family!
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